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The aging of the baby boomers brings with it a growing number of elderly parents who need special care. At any time, a health problem might suddenly throw adult children into a situation they know nothing about.
How are people holding up to this increased stress?
The number one emotion expressed by caregivers is guilt. We don’t feel like we can do it all. At times we may feel angry, confused or frustrated, and we feel it most of the time.
As loving children, we want to do all we can for our aging parents. How can we tell when we are under too much stress?
Stress can created trouble with sleeping or may make you get exhausted easily. Body fatigue makes it impossible to complete necessary daily tasks. Health problems begin to take their toll, both mentally and physically. You may hear yourself say, "I don’t care anymore." Depression begins to break your spirit and affects our ability to cope.
What can caregivers do to relive some of this stress?
You should back away from the intensity and look for the positive things in your life. Show your love for your parents. Look for humor in the situation and find a way to laugh with your parents. When stress builds up, remember to use the " one day at a time" technique. Recognize that caregiving responsibilities belong to all family members and share the load. The most important thing is to take care of you.
Of course all of the family members should help with the care of a parent, but what if you get no help from the rest of your family?
First, try to understand why. Are you too controlling or protective? Does everything have to be done your way? Talk to your family about your parent’s growing dependence, and ask for their advice before you ask for outside help. Welcome the help that each person offers, even if he/she does not live in the same local area. If your family still is not cooperating, seek out community resources such as a Geriatric Care Manager who can help coordinate and manage day-to-day and long-term support services.
What is a Geriatric Care Manager?
A Geriatric Care Manager is someone who can conduct assessments, crisis intervention, family conflict mediation, arranging homemaker services and transportation. A manager can locate assisted living options when your parent has to leave his/her home.
Information obtained from AARP and the Alzheimer’s Association
For more information call 553-3000 or toll-free (877) 553-3001 or email info@heartlandfamilyservice.org
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