Stress and the Holidays

What makes holidays such a stressful time for families?

High expectations and firm deadlines can make the holiday season stressful time for anyone. The holidays are "supposed" to be a fun-filled, joyous time for families to come together and celebrate. Some people love the excitement; others would rather just go to sleep and wake up after the holidays. Most of us are somewhere in between.

Since we can’t change the deadlines, we can try to make expectations realistic both for ourselves and for our family members. Don’t expect everything to be perfect. Don’t try to do everything. Try to be as flexible as possible.

We want our relatives around us during this time, but sometimes that just adds to the stress. How can we make it easier?

Having relatives over can also add unwelcome stress on you, your spouse, and your family. Getting relatives together means more people in one space, so there is more chance for differing viewpoints and ideas. Try to plan ahead so there are no big surprises.

A few ideas for reducing stress are:

1. Make sure you have plenty of physical space for everyone to be comfortable in.
2. Consider going out for some meals, or ordering a delivery.
3. If a conflict with travel is involved, determine your family’s priorities. For example, is it more important to be with someone out of town or to spend the holiday at home? Can anyone adjust plans?
4. PUT YOUR FAMILY FIRST! At the same time, reach out to your significant others in a way that will show them they are important, too.

How do you keep your family first when there are so many other demands to take care of?

Schedule and talk about activities so the whole family knows what to expect. Keep routine activities consistent to provide stability—this is more important if you have young children, who usually thrive on routines. To strengthen your family bond, explore the cultural and spiritual traditions of your family.

If you have younger children, realize that they, also, need individual time. Let them feel they are a part of the festivities: give them easy things to do like decorating their rooms or making and wrapping gifts. For teenage children, be tolerant of their focus on friends instead of family. The teenage years are a normal time for them to begin establishing their own interests and traditions.

For more information on moving with children, call 553-3000 or toll-free (877) 553-3001 or email info@heartlandfamilyservice.org