Should Your Child Be Home Alone?

At some time during their later elementary school years, most children move into a form of child care known as "self-care." This term describes situations where children are without adult supervision while their parents are engaged in work or other activities away from home. It is also frequently called "latchkey" care, referring to the custom of children carrying a house key on a ribbon around their necks.

The laws and ordinances that mandate the age at which a child can legally be left at home vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction and are often not clear-cut.  According to child protection agencies, however, if a child who is alone is afraid or determined by authorities to be in danger, the parents may be prosecuted for child neglect. So parents should carefully examine not only the child’s abilities, but also the circumstances surrounding the child’s self-care. Your work schedule, family circumstances, and budget will all affect the decision you make as you select care for your school-age child. However, if you give your child’s safety and well-being top priority, you can be confident your decision is the right one.

It may seem early, but it’s time to talk about summer child care. Many parents are thinking about leaving their children home alone for the first time this summer. How old should a child be to be home alone?

It’s not just a consideration of age – maturity is the determining factor. A 12 or 13-year-old may be ready, if there is a lot of support available. Also, consider how much time the child will be alone – a few hours, or all day every day.

How do you know if your child is ready?

• How does the child feel about it? Confident? Scared? Lonely? Talk about it.
• How independent or demanding is the child? Does he need people to do things for him?
• Are there other adults available to him? Neighbor? Grandparent? Someone should be available by phone at all times.
• Can she follow the rules?

What about the safety factor? Are adolescents old enough to handle themselves in an emergency?

How safe is the neighborhood? Have you role-played all the safety issues, such as a fire drill? Children need practice. Are you or someone else available to call in an emergency?

OK. So we decide our 13-year old is mature and responsible enough to stay home alone. How do we begin?

You must provide the structure: Have clear expectations. Write down the rules. Make a general plan for the day. Limit TV watching. Assign chores that help the family function – have the child start dinner, fold clothes, houseclean, etc. This is an excellent way to teach responsibility. Or, find activities in the neighborhood: YMCA, mother’s helper, gardening chores, helping an elderly neighbor. Children need to do something to get them out of the house for an hour or two each day.

How can parents know whether it’s working or not?

Have your child call you once in the afternoon to see how he is doing. When you get home, talk with your child about his day. Finally, be prepared to change the plans if your child seems troubled or lonely.