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 The following is Donna’s story, a 67-year old woman whose concerned daughter insisted that she see our geriatric counselor. She was suffering from a strong depression because of the death of her husband. One day at our Senior Center, she told the staff this story. She agreed to let us write it up and tell others of her successful experience.
My wonderful husband Carl died just two weeks before our fortieth anniversary. He was only 66. I felt so cheated – we had been making plans for a wonderful party with all our family and friends. It was a heart attack – totally unexpected. I just felt like my whole world came crashing down.
Everyone was concerned about me. But whenever someone called to get me to go out, I just wasn’t interested. Nothing sounded fun anymore. I just didn’t care about anything. My daughter would call me to go shopping, to go to church, or to go out to eat. But I didn’t want to walk around, I didn’t want to talk to people, and I wasn’t hungry. Before Carl passed away, I taught art classes in our home; but I canceled the lessons because I couldn’t bear to do it anymore. I just didn’t feel like any of it was worth the effort. After a while, I stopped getting dressed and I just slept most of the day. And every day was the same. I missed Carl so much – I just didn’t feel like anything else mattered anymore.
One day, quite by accident, I found myself watching the midday news on television and I saw a man from Heartland Family Service talking about their geriatric counseling program. Then, the very next day, my daughter brought over a newsletter from Heartland Family Service she found in her mail, and there was an article about that geriatric counseling program! My daughter talked pretty seriously to me that day, and she convinced me to call for an appointment. I wish I could say it was easy to get ready for that appointment, but it wasn’t. I just didn’t have the energy to get dressed, and to tell you the truth, I really didn’t even care if I went or not. I just didn’t want to be bothered.
But I went for my daughter, and ended up working with Rob, my counselor, for a little over 4 months. Sometimes we talked about how wonderful life was when Carl was alive, and then Rob would ask me to name something else that was good right now, like my daughter and my grandchildren. Rob made me chart my feelings on a scale of 1 to 20 for each day, and that helped me to realize that some days were better than others.
It seemed like a long time, but when I finally came to terms with Carl’s death, it was like I began to wake up from a foggy dream. I remember one time I saw a person laugh, and I could actually understand why that woman was laughing. I must have smiled, because Rob asked me if I thought that was funny. Without thinking, I said “yes.” Then it hit me – something was funny! For the first time since Carl died, something was funny again!
Once I started regaining an interest in my surroundings, Rob suggested that I volunteer to teach art classes to the seniors at the Senior Center. I didn’t know if I was ready, but Rob said how could I know if I didn’t try it out? So he introduced me to Carolyn, the lady at the senior center, and she was tickled pink. I couldn’t believe how eager those people were to learn how to paint. Now I teach classes there twice a week. But I go there for lunch every day, just because it’s such a nice place to be.
I want to thank Rob for helping me find my way back to a normal life! He reminded me of the things I used to like to do, and now I am doing them again. I cook for my daughter’s family every Sunday. I’ve made new friends and we go dancing and traveling together. I joined the American Legion Auxiliary and I am teaching a children’s art class. It’s wonderful to feel good again!
(Note: Please understand that our client’s stories are deeply personal. The names and photos have been changed to protect their identity.)
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