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sTEPHANIE'S FAMILY SEEKS A SAFE HAVEN

Stephanie was like a lot of the women in our Domestic Abuse program. Aft first her husband just called her names—made fun of her ankles or her teeth. Before long, the abuse turned physical—pinching, then an occasional slap. Then a fist in the face.  And then the apology. “I’m sorry.” He’d whisper. He’d kiss her forehead and tell her he loved her. And then he would beat her again.

Stephanie bore the abuse day in and day out for over a decade. She lost her sense of self and of independence. With every beating, she became less of a wife and more just Eddie’s possession. She gave Eddie two children—she hoped that having kids would solve their problems. It didn’t. Meanwhile, Eddie’s abusive behaviors escalated. He cut her with a knife as he sexually abused her, and even began to threaten to harm the kids. She began to drink to numb her soul.

By the time she arrived at our Safe Haven domestic abuse shelter Stephanie was isolated, tired and scared. She was afraid of losing her kids to the state because they had found out about the abuse. She needed a safe place to stay and some help to put her life in order. She found both at our Safe Haven concealed shelter.

Because Stephanie began substance abuse treatment, she was accepted into our Safe Haven transitional program. The family resided in our concealed shelter for the next two years while they recovered and built life skills. They thrived in the structured environment at Safe Haven. They all participated in group and individual counseling sessions, and enjoyed the tranquility of a safe home.

Stephanie made great progress in her independent counseling sessions, and learned to trust her peers and housemates—other abused women—during groups sessions. She enrolled in our Positive Parenting workshop where she learned healthy approaches to parenting her daughters. She also attended workshops on life skills training, and spent time in groups learning about the dynamics of abusive relationships. She was pleased to see how quickly her children responded to her new parenting techniques. The change was clearly impacting the kids for the better. They had fewer problems at school and seemed to have a newfound respect for their mother.

So much has changed in the past year for Stephanie and her son and daughter. And exciting changes are still to come. A clean and reinvigorated Stephanie has big plans now that she is living free from abuse. She has saved money for a deposit and the family plans to move into an apartment in a few months.

You can make a difference in the lives of people who are less fortunate than yourself:

When you look at everything that’s going wrong in our community, it’s easy to feel helpless. Like there’s nothing that one person can do that will amount to any good. But there is. When you support an agency you can trust, an agency that is already doing so much good in the community, it makes a true difference. You make a difference.

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(Note: Please understand that our client’s stories are deeply personal.  The names and photos have been changed to protect their identity.) 

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8/20/2008
Level 2 Victim Emphathy Class

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