Roberta threw a tantrum when she joined
our Solomon Girls Center at the end of the school year. She had
just moved into town with her mom—leaving her home and father
and friends behind—and she was angry. She cried often, was
nasty to the other girls, and refused to pay attention to the teachers.
This little girl needed help.
The staff at Solomon knew that Roberta’s
anger was probably her way of acting out about leaving everything
familiar behind. Coming in at the end of the year was difficult
enough. But not being able to concentrate on school work would put
her behind and risk repeating second grade the following year.
When Roberta’s mom Martina came
to pick her up at the end of the first week, the Solomon coordinator
asked if they could arrange a phone conversation the next day. In
that call, Martina admitted that she was exhausted from the stress
of the divorce and the move, and Roberta’s behavior was getting
her down.
The Solomon coordinator suggested that
Martina and Roberta join the Heartland Family Service Positive Parenting
Group (PPG), which met in the Solomon building once a week. PPG
is a 12-week workshop for parents of children birth to age 12 who
want to learn more about the daily challenges of child rearing—normal
child development; healthy, positive methods of discipline; and
anger management. It would be easy for Martina and Roberta to participate—children
were included, it started just a few minutes after Solomon closed,
and parents and children ate dinner together. It was an easy decision
for Martina—she and Roberta joined PPG that week.
There were several other single parents
there, and plenty of children. Roberta’s misbehavior continued
for a while, but Martina was learning how to calm her down and get
her interested in something else. At home, she reserved 20 minutes
to play with Roberta as soon as they walked in the door. She gave
Roberta permission to decorate her bedroom any way she liked, so
they went shopping to find treasures that Martina could afford.
After a month, Roberta was adjusting
fairly well. The Solomon staff made sure she did her homework after
school, so by the time Martina picked her up, they could do the
things they enjoyed together. The better Martina understood how
to discipline, the more Roberta’s behavior improved.
Roberta passed that year, and went into
the next grade with her new friends at Solomon. She and Martina
go to PPG every once in awhile to see old friends and make new ones.
Sometimes they bake cookies for everyone. They call it their “family
night.”
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(Note: Please understand that our client’s
stories are deeply personal. The names and photos have been
changed to protect their identity.)
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